......And They Lived Happily Ever After - My Perspective on Fairy Tales

Happily ever after - most little girls dream about a fairy tale wedding.  We dream of finding our prince, falling in love, marrying said prince and living happily ever after. As little girls do, we envision beautiful gowns, tiaras, a handsome prince and a lovely castle. I've been married twice and  as a 50 year old woman - I now know the truth about fairy tales.  It took a failed first marriage, 18 years together and nearly 15 years of marriage to Matt for me realize that I AM and we ARE living the fairy tale. We have shared many moments of joy and many moments of stress and pain. Together, we have formed a love and bond that will last a lifetime.
We renewed our vows this past May.  Allow me to share with you what I vowed to my prince during our vow renewal ceremony.

It seems like just yesterday that we stood before a judge with our small children by our sides…in front of our family and friends. I remember how I felt that day.  I married my soul mate – my best friend, the love of my life.  Nothing felt more right. I had this image in my mind of my true love. It was not a physical image but rather a feeling and a longing to be a part of something magical.  I wanted the fairy tale.

But what are fairy tales? They are not filled with only roses, love and happiness.  Fairy tales are stories that evolve.  There are obstacles: personal struggles, poverty, social rejection, villains and monsters to face and overcome.  Once these obstacles are overcome, personal growth must happen before the ‘happily ever after’ moment arrives.  That being said, anything worthwhile is worth the fight.  Without the bad times how could we possibly recognize and cherish the good times?  Over 14 years ago we vowed to love each other, cherish each other and remain true to each other, for better or for worse.  For all of the joys we have experienced thus far, we have also faced and weathered many storms together.  Together - we are amazing.  With you - is where I long to be.  I don’t need a romantic backdrop or an exotic location.  I enjoy you no matter where we are. I love us. I love that we can just touch hands and gaze into each other’s eyes and feel – connect, communicate without any spoken words.  I love that we can never say ‘I love you’ too often.

I promise to never forget the struggles we endured to be together.  I will always fight for us.  We are worth the fight.

I promise to never forget the good - all of the good you have shown me and our family in the past and the sacrifices you have made for us. I look forward to our future and the good memories that are yet to come.

I promise to weather every storm with you… because together we can overcome any obstacle. I will support you when life becomes overwhelming.

I promise to cherish you and our marriage.  I will never take you or our marriage for granted.  The love we share is so rare and precious to me.

I promise to be your best friend. I will listen even if I cannot help or understand. I will be your support when life leaves you weary and your shoulders feel overburdened.

I promise to laugh with you - at the funny things and the not-so-funny things - the way you cope with difficult situations has been through laughter. I am learning to cope with laughter because of you. 

I promise to hold you and love you and be there for you… you never need to search for someone who understands or could love you more than I – that simply is not possible – No one could love you more than I. I never knew I could love someone so much.  There are no words that do justice to how I feel about you and about US.

I promise to have your back. We are together and you are my husband. 

I promise to respect you and your decisions - even if I don’t always agree with you.

With promises there are expectations. I expect honesty and loyalty. Sometimes the truth hurts but together we are strong enough to overcome the hurt. I only expect what I am willing to give of myself. I promise to be honest and loyal – always.

I have entrusted you with my love, my life and my heart.  Please do not break my heart.

I expect you to come to me with anything - whether you think I can handle it or not.  Please don’t assume you know how I will react or how I will feel.

I expect you to refill my coffee if I need you to do so.

I expect you to love me while remaining true to you.  Do not change a thing - I love you as you are.

All I want is to love you for the rest of my life. To wake up every morning with you by my side.  Knowing that no matter what happens during our times apart, I’ll be able to come home to your loving arms.

All I want is to share everything with you - our ideas, dreams and hopes - for today and  for our future.

All I want is to give you my love .

All I want is to grow old with you - to travel one day at a time with you in our journey that is our marriage.

You are my present and my future. I only want to spend my life loving you until death us do part.

I believe in us.

The vows and promises spoken after many years of loving and living a fairy tale are not only powerful - they are much more meaningful because they come from love's wisdom and love's experience.  If you haven't considered renewing your vows, I highly recommend it.  There wasn't a dry eye in the room when we professed our vows to each other - because our words came directly from the heart of our fairy tale - laced with the joy, love, memories and struggles that we share together..... and they lived happily ever after.