Love Thy Self ~ A Single's Survival Guide to Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day: a holiday created to celebrate love. Let's be honest about this holiday.  For those who are not in a happy, committed relationship - on and around February 14th -  this can be an incredibly painful time of year. It can leave singles feeling inadequate, down or angry. I have been there, more than once in my life. It doesn't have to be painful.

It was Christmas, when I was broken-hearted and alone.  The commercials began before Thanksgiving.  I was already dreading a day that celebrates family, because mine had been torn apart.  I was not in a good place emotionally.  TV offered a temporary escape, until jewelry commercials started airing, in mid-November.  Once I was reminded that every kiss begins with 'K', over and over ad nauseum - watching TV was no longer an option, unless I wanted to punish myself.  Love songs on the radio hurt, going out and seeing happy couples holding hands in the grocery store hurt.   Waking up to an empty pillow, that once cradled the head of the man I loved, hurt most of all. I was tired of feeling hurt.  In an act of defiance I made up my mind to find ways to make my situation hurt less.

Here are some of the things I did to cope. I didn't just cope, I actually felt more empowered and better about myself, when all was said and done.

GNO ~ make a date for a girls/guys night out.  Don't go out looking to meet Mr or Ms right.  Do something fun with the people already in your life, such as bowling, laser tag or go to an arcade.  I, personally, would not consume too much alcohol.  It's a depressant; you may feel giddy at first, but coming down will only leaving you feeling sad later on.  You could go out and grab a bite to eat or get coffee, but you're more likely to be faced with sappy, happy couples.  Instead, plan a pot luck dinner with single friends and play Words With Friends, also known as Scrabble.

Pamper Me ~  If you can't find a friend who is free to hang with you, instead of sitting at home licking your wounds, do something self-indulgent instead. Nothing says I love myself more than splurging.  Go shopping - it's called retail therapy for a reason. Set a budget and a specific goal. Set out on a quest for a new pair of earrings, a different shade of lipstick or new shoes.  Be daring. Don't get sensible shoes! Step outside of your comfort zone and do it in style.  Hit every store in the mall before you make a decision.  End the trip with a manicure, pedicure or a makeover. Most department stores are eager to give makeovers.  Buyer beware -  they will try to sell you everything in stock. Unless you make the big bucks, purchase a lipstick or eye shadow and remember: you can find comparable products for less money at a drug store. The last thing you need is to go home with buyer's remorse.  No matter what your station in life is, freshly polished nails or a brave new shade of lipstick will remind you that you are capable and willing to take care of your own needs, first.  Guys, go to the men's fragrance section in a department store and have someone help you select a new cologne.  Go to a hot towel barber and get a professional cut and shave.  Don't knock it till you've tried it: be brave and get a pedicure sans the nail polish, especially if you work on your feet all day.  It's incredibly relaxing. Or, treat yourself to a relaxing massage.

Get Physical ~  First you're sad, then you're mad....well, that's how it was for me.  For those who have an over-abundance of angry energy: put it to good use.  Take on a project.  Repaint the room you spend the most time in or buy an old chair and refinish it.  Go to the gym or put on a kick boxing video. Listen to empowering music or comedy tracks, while you work and work out.  I created a Spotify account on my computer - it's free and it's user friendly.  Here's my workout play list:

I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor
Respect - Aretha Franklin
Survivor - Destiny's Child
Raise Your Glass - Pink
U and Ur Hand - Pink
So What - Pink
Hot n Cold - Katy Perry
Wide Awake - Katy Perry
Part of Me - Katy Perry
Mr. Know It All - Kelly Clarkson
Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson
Stronger - Kelly Clarkson
Titanium - David Guetta/Sia

You can also listen to your favorite comedians on Spotify.  I know it's cliche', but laughter can be the best medicine.

Getting physical can also be serene. If you've not yet tried yoga, give it a go. It is far more difficult than it looks. It is also incredibly relaxing and therapeutic. Thankfully, there are beginner level classes.  Many yoga studios allow you to pay for one class at a time.  If you're having trouble silencing your mind, yoga is the answer.  Yoga helped me realign - not just my body but my mind, spirit and, in time, my life.  Anxiety was my primary issue.  I feel anxiety comes when the mind, body and spirit are in conflict.  Inner peace came for me, once my insides were in alignment. Inner peace is all essential when it comes to healing and facing most anything life throws at us.

Movies ~ Go out with friends and avoid all date movies.  Or, stay in and watch one at home.  Say 'no' to Rom Coms!!  Watch an action flick, a side-splitting comedy or a movie about courage.  I watched movies  I knew would not upset me.  A League of Their Own and Men in Black are two of my go-to favorites. If you're ready to embrace the thought of loving again, I recommend Under the Tuscan Sun. It reminds us that love will find us when the time is right.

 Love  is not exclusive to romantic love - there is maternal & paternal love, the love of dear friends and the love of cherished pets.  Love should not be celebrated once or twice a year - it should be a daily celebration.   Love should, above all else,  begin within and radiate outward. Make this potentially difficult day, a celebration of you - whether you are single or in a committed relationship.  If you carry that celebration with you and within you, you may never feel inadequate again.

With Love Always ~ Happy Skinny Mrs <3