Christmas Present - An Evolution from Toys to Joy

It's the season of giving.  Peace on earth and good will towards men.   At some point in our lives we  get it - hopefully.  It's very easy to get caught up in the commercial frenzy of the holiday season.  Tis the season to be stressed out and maxed out.  No wonder so many people feel hum bugged and depressed during the holidays.  So how do we do it?  How do we evolve from wide-eyed, innocent children who believe in Santa into adults who believe in the goodness of mankind? 

It was December, 1974. I was 14 years old  and very concerned about what would be under the Christmas tree for me.   I wanted, correction,  I NEEDED white carpenter pants and earth shoes.  I needed a new wardrobe to fit in at high school.   Social acceptance and self confidence was far more important to me than grades or family.  According to my psychology textbooks, this was age appropriate behavior for a 14 year old.  That same Christmas, I remember sitting around with my family watching the Christmas episode of  Little House on the Prairie.   I couldn't get over how little the Ingalls had and how much love and laughter they had in spite of their simple, poor lives.  Mary and Laura each got a new slate for school, a cup, a peppermint stick and a penny.  They were overjoyed with the practical gifts and the luxury of a piece of candy and a penny.  I spent that Christmas examining how many gifts that I had received, both thoughtful and excessive.  I began to feel a little guilty about having so much when others had so little.  It was at the age of 14 that I evolved into a appreciative young girl.

Fast forward ten years to Christmas 1984.  Band Aid was formed and the song Do They Know it's Christmas Time was released.   I bought the record and listened to it ad nauseum.  I REALLY listened and saw, for the first time in my young life, the world as it is. "Tonight thank God it's them, instead of you".  Those were powerful words.  Couple those words with images of starving children in drought-riddened Africa and ultimately, those images were burned into my memory forever.  I went to the Live Aid concert in 1985 and donated a substantial amount of my meager income to the relief effort.  It was at the age of 25 that I evolved into a charitable young woman.

My most profound lesson came to me when I was in nursing school during Christmas 1997.  I was exhausted and stressed.  I had papers to write, finals to study for, baking, shopping, wrapping, school functions and sporting events to attend for the kids.  I was spread as thin as humanly imaginable and my pity party was keeping me from finding any joy in the holidays.  Then I met Mary, my 67 year old patient who was recovering from bilateral mastectomy surgery and a diagnosis of breast cancer.  I was with Mary when the surgeon removed her surgical drains.  She asked her surgeon "Will I be home in time to cook the Christmas turkey for my family?"  The doctor replied "Yes Mary, as long as you don't try to lift the turkey, you may go home and cook the holiday meal."  Mary's reply was one that I carry with me every holiday season and anytime I feel overwhelmed in my hectic life.  "Thank you doctor, for giving my the gift of making another Christmas dinner for my family."  Here I was feeling sorry for myself having too much on my plate, that I forgot to be thankful that I even had a plate. I made my way out of the room because I didn't want Mary to see me lose it.  And lose it I did.  As I cried hysterically in the hall a staff nurse approached me to comfort me.  I asked her how she did this day in and day out.  She simply answered "I draw strength and inspiration from many of my patients and I do my best to care for them when they are in my care."  I thought to myself how easy it was to become caught up in my own life and forget how much I had to be grateful for.

It was from that point on that I would consider myself evolved.  I no longer complained about how little money I had or how much I had to do because those were in fact,  my blessings.  I was both humbled and overjoyed at the same time.  I had come full circle and realized that the meaning of Christmas comes from sacrifice and giving - appreciation and joy.  I realized that my circumstances didn't change, only my perspective had changed.  With a change in perspective I could now accomplish so much more and do so with appreciation.

This Christmas, I will not "thank God  it's them instead of me."  I will thank God for all of my blessings, pray for the lonely, the sick, the hateful and the less fortunate.  I will pray for our troops and the people of the war-torn countries. I will surround myself with the love and joy of my husband and our 3, now grown, children in the quiet of our home.  Most importantly, I'll remember the babe in the manger while I celebrate the season with the loves of my life.  Evolution is not about growing older it is about growing up.  As grown ups, we not only appreciate the meaning of Christmas we emulate the meaning to our children and teach them that there is so much more to Christmas than toys under the tree.

Have a very blessed and joyous Holiday Season with the ones you love.