Mission Not-So-Impossible - How I Stay Motivated and Defy My Age

"How do you do it?"  I can't tell you just how often I hear that question - but I can tell you it increases with age.  This is me at 49 years of age. I was close enough to 50 to smell it. I didn't fear the number - maybe because I've managed to defy my age over the years. Sure, I have tell-tale lines on my brow and sun-kissed freckles on my skin (sounds so much nicer than wrinkles and age spots) but I've found ways to defy my age that have stood the test of time.
I turned 40 on January 1, 2000 - the new millennium.  Remember the countdown clocks that were mounted in every public building? Maybe you don't, but I certainly do.  Imagine facing the countdown to the big 4 0 every time you enter a public building. Tick tock....bye bye youth in 92 days, 8 hours and 43, 42, 41 seconds.  Fan-stinking-tastic (insert sarcastic tone of voice).  Thank you very little - for the regular reminders! Thankfully, turning 40 didn't throw me over the edge and neither did turning 50.
"You're so lucky - you're still thin and young looking for your age". Yet another comment I hear regularly.  Sometimes it sounds more like an accusation rather than a compliment.  I'm now emphatically stating to the haters: "LUCK HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!"  It feels good to get that off my chest.  If you are not too offended by my venting and are now a little intrigued - keep reading. This is how I do it:

Knowledge 
1) I read magazines that give me good information.  Fitness, Self, More, O and Cooking Light are my favorites. I don't waste my time or my money on tabloid-type magazines. They only bring me down.  I see botox, personal stylists, nip tuck and bad behavior displayed in those magazines.  I'm not learning anything useful by reading them.  I get fitness, health and beauty tips from the publications I listed.  More importantly, they motivate me to treat myself better. I love healthy recipes and they're chock full of solid, useful information.  I honestly don't give a rat's ankle which self-destructive celebrity just got arrested.  By the way, Cosmopolitan gives great advice (wink, wink) - nothing wrong with wanting to keep the passion in my marriage!
2) I'd rather watch Good Morning America, Oprah or the History Channel than watch 'reality' programs.  Pah-LEASE!  And, if I want to be entertained, I'd much rather watch a smart sitcom or Comedy Central - laughter is the best medicine.  Again, I lean towards watching informative or funny programs.  I like to learn and I love to laugh.
Willpower
1) I yo-yo with my weight like everyone else. I just do not let myself get to a point where I need to buy bigger jeans.  Once those pants start getting snug enough to turn my mini-muffin into a jumbo muffin I get strict with my diet.  I keep those too tight jeans on as a reminder - to eat less, eat better and get my expanding assets to the gym! I'm not wearing expandable Lycra - nope, not me! I need to feel like I'm fat to get back on the wagon and wearing jeans that cut off the circulation to my feet do the job.
2) While I'm eating a sensible meal, I'll flip through a Victoria's Secret catalogue or one of my favorite magazines.  It's sounds a little embarrassing, but it honestly it works for me.  I visualize myself with a more fit, healthy body - not the kind you see in high fashion magazines with emaciated models.  Again, this motivates me to take better care of me and make better choices.
Style
1) I try to buy new clothes every season - not a whole wardrobe - just a few pieces that give me a current look.  I look for sales and shop at outlets and discount stores (TJ Maxx and Marshall's) to save money.  Keeping my wardrobe somewhat current helps me feel and look younger.  Nothing spells old than out-dated clothes.  Get jeans with a waist that sits on your hips, just below your navel.  Higher waisted paints give the appearance of a belly bulge - even if you don't have one.
2) Out-dated hair styles can really 'age' women.  For Pete's sake try something new!  Hair grows in - it's temporary. Having bangs is a great way to hide brow lines - sweep them to one side for a more current look. I color my hair - grays make me look older.  I have nothing against woman who choose not to color their grays, but to me it's like not wearing concealer under my eyes.  I really do care about my appearance - if  I look gray with dark circles under my eyes -  I'm bound to feel gray and tired.
Attitude
1) Posture - stand up straight, shoulders back and chin up (don't forget a to smile and make eye contact).  Nothing commands attention more than a person who walks into a room with purpose and confidence.  They call it body language for a reason! I talk the talk and walk the walk. Let's face it, I'm a nurse so I have to smile a lot!  If you smile enough you really will feel happier. It works for me!
2) Shoes - that's right.... I just said shoes affect attitude.  If you're wearing shoes that are too high and uncomfortable, you're going to walk like a fool.  Props to you if you can walk with swagger sporting high-heeled slingbacks!  I have to wear a lower heel to walk confidently.
Cosmetics
1) Take care of your teeth and gums.  A whiter smile can take years off your look and you'll want to smile more.  I use whitening strips once or twice a year and brush with a whitening toothpaste daily.
2) Exfoliate and moisturize - not just your face! After using my facial scrub on my face, I slather and scrub my hands before rinsing.  I have no brown spots on my face or hands! ZERO. I do this every other day.  I use a body scrub and loofah for the rest of my person.  I use moisturizer all over (I'll discuss the products I use in a future blog).

Why be defined by a number? I started writing this blog because so many people ask me how I do it - this is what works for me.  I'll keep fighting the fight to defy my age because I enjoy how I feel. Care to join me?

Football Sundays - Chili & Tight Ends - What's Not to Love?

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em - nothing is more true when you live with sports fanatics.  When our family gathers around the table for a meal, my husband and sons talk sports - or I should say - argue sports.

It's dizzying to me how much knowledge they possess about sports - any sport - ALL sports.  My husband sometimes has trouble remembering what I told him yesterday, but he can recall every New York Yankee lineup, past and present, AND remember each player's stats.  Our daughter and I would silently stare at each other during meals - rolling our eyes and shrugging our shoulders.  She was wise enough to remain silent - I on the other hand, would attempt to chime in on the great dinnertime debates, only to get corrected or instantly shot down.  The only opinion I have that doesn't get shot down is that Derek Jeter has a cute backside and a fine way of dodging inside pitches. Not that they agree with me, but none of them have any facts to support an argument against it - in fact, my family finds my Jeter fixation humorous. The guys' opinions often grossly differ, ultimately resulting in heated debates - the perfect time for me to lighten things up with comments about Jeter's assets.

I refused to become a sports widow so I made up my mind to embrace my family's love of sports - after all, if Matt can put up with and partake in antiquing with me, why couldn't I learn to partake in and enjoy sports?  The truth is, I love football season.  I really enjoy preparing a pot of chili or stew this time of year and there's nothing like leftovers after a manic Monday workday. To get in the 'zone', I purchased an Eli Manning Giants jersey and I wear it every Sunday.  I don't fully understand football, but I pay attention and ask questions.  I think my husband enjoys my interest and an opportunity to share his vast knowledge of the sport.

As Winter approaches, the days will grow shorter and colder here in the Northeast.  I can't wait to start a fire in our fireplace and smell chili simmering on the stove while I cozy-up on the sofa with my honey.  I don't mind watching the Tight Ends in a huddle either!

Tammy's Beef Chili
Ingredients:
1 1/2 lbs lean ground beef
3  tbsps olive oil
1 small yellow onion - diced
5 cloves of garlic - minced
1 cup fat free chicken broth
1 cup of raw carrots - diced
1 medium green pepper - diced
1  29 ounce can of tomato sauce
1  6 oz can of tomato paste
1  15.5 ounce can of small red kidney beans - drained and rinsed
10 dashes of chipotle hot sauce (or to taste)
1 packet (1.25 ounce) of McCormick's low sodium chili seasoning

Garnish with 2 % shredded cheddar cheese and serve with tostada chips

Brown ground beef in a frying pain, drain and rinse off excess fat.  In a large sauce pan, heat olive oil on medium heat, saute onions until translucent.  Add garlic, carrots and green pepper and saute for 3 minutes.  Add chicken broth and bring to a boil. 
Add cooked, strained ground beef and all other ingredients.  Bring to near boil on medium high heat, stirring frequently. Reduce heat to low and simmer, uncovered for 40 minutes stirring occasionally

Serve chili in small crocks, sprinkle with shredded cheddar.  Enjoy with tostada chips and someone you love!

......And They Lived Happily Ever After - My Perspective on Fairy Tales

Happily ever after - most little girls dream about a fairy tale wedding.  We dream of finding our prince, falling in love, marrying said prince and living happily ever after. As little girls do, we envision beautiful gowns, tiaras, a handsome prince and a lovely castle. I've been married twice and  as a 50 year old woman - I now know the truth about fairy tales.  It took a failed first marriage, 18 years together and nearly 15 years of marriage to Matt for me realize that I AM and we ARE living the fairy tale. We have shared many moments of joy and many moments of stress and pain. Together, we have formed a love and bond that will last a lifetime.
We renewed our vows this past May.  Allow me to share with you what I vowed to my prince during our vow renewal ceremony.

It seems like just yesterday that we stood before a judge with our small children by our sides…in front of our family and friends. I remember how I felt that day.  I married my soul mate – my best friend, the love of my life.  Nothing felt more right. I had this image in my mind of my true love. It was not a physical image but rather a feeling and a longing to be a part of something magical.  I wanted the fairy tale.

But what are fairy tales? They are not filled with only roses, love and happiness.  Fairy tales are stories that evolve.  There are obstacles: personal struggles, poverty, social rejection, villains and monsters to face and overcome.  Once these obstacles are overcome, personal growth must happen before the ‘happily ever after’ moment arrives.  That being said, anything worthwhile is worth the fight.  Without the bad times how could we possibly recognize and cherish the good times?  Over 14 years ago we vowed to love each other, cherish each other and remain true to each other, for better or for worse.  For all of the joys we have experienced thus far, we have also faced and weathered many storms together.  Together - we are amazing.  With you - is where I long to be.  I don’t need a romantic backdrop or an exotic location.  I enjoy you no matter where we are. I love us. I love that we can just touch hands and gaze into each other’s eyes and feel – connect, communicate without any spoken words.  I love that we can never say ‘I love you’ too often.

I promise to never forget the struggles we endured to be together.  I will always fight for us.  We are worth the fight.

I promise to never forget the good - all of the good you have shown me and our family in the past and the sacrifices you have made for us. I look forward to our future and the good memories that are yet to come.

I promise to weather every storm with you… because together we can overcome any obstacle. I will support you when life becomes overwhelming.

I promise to cherish you and our marriage.  I will never take you or our marriage for granted.  The love we share is so rare and precious to me.

I promise to be your best friend. I will listen even if I cannot help or understand. I will be your support when life leaves you weary and your shoulders feel overburdened.

I promise to laugh with you - at the funny things and the not-so-funny things - the way you cope with difficult situations has been through laughter. I am learning to cope with laughter because of you. 

I promise to hold you and love you and be there for you… you never need to search for someone who understands or could love you more than I – that simply is not possible – No one could love you more than I. I never knew I could love someone so much.  There are no words that do justice to how I feel about you and about US.

I promise to have your back. We are together and you are my husband. 

I promise to respect you and your decisions - even if I don’t always agree with you.

With promises there are expectations. I expect honesty and loyalty. Sometimes the truth hurts but together we are strong enough to overcome the hurt. I only expect what I am willing to give of myself. I promise to be honest and loyal – always.

I have entrusted you with my love, my life and my heart.  Please do not break my heart.

I expect you to come to me with anything - whether you think I can handle it or not.  Please don’t assume you know how I will react or how I will feel.

I expect you to refill my coffee if I need you to do so.

I expect you to love me while remaining true to you.  Do not change a thing - I love you as you are.

All I want is to love you for the rest of my life. To wake up every morning with you by my side.  Knowing that no matter what happens during our times apart, I’ll be able to come home to your loving arms.

All I want is to share everything with you - our ideas, dreams and hopes - for today and  for our future.

All I want is to give you my love .

All I want is to grow old with you - to travel one day at a time with you in our journey that is our marriage.

You are my present and my future. I only want to spend my life loving you until death us do part.

I believe in us.

The vows and promises spoken after many years of loving and living a fairy tale are not only powerful - they are much more meaningful because they come from love's wisdom and love's experience.  If you haven't considered renewing your vows, I highly recommend it.  There wasn't a dry eye in the room when we professed our vows to each other - because our words came directly from the heart of our fairy tale - laced with the joy, love, memories and struggles that we share together..... and they lived happily ever after.

Housework: United We Stand - Together Gets it Done Quicker

Housework - the word alone makes me cringe. Maintaining a home is work and it's a thankless job that's never really completed.  Just when the overflowing hamper is finally emptied,  dirty laundry is getting tossed  in. Is it me, or does it seem as if the dirty clothes mate and multiply in that hamper?   Maybe that's why we "separate" the laundry. With 3 kids, 2 cats and a dog our house doesn't stay clean for very long.  Our cats have impeccable timing - they wait for the floors to be clean before feeling the need to cough up a hairball.   We vacuum up enough pet hair in a week to start our own business making kitty wigs for hairless cats.  We don't have dust bunnies - they're more like dust tumble weeds.
Carol Brady had it made.  The Brady's were a middle class family with a stay-at-home mom AND a full time, live-in maid. Seriously?  That's about as realistic as me giving up shoe shopping.  Did we grow up watching that nonsense? I need an Alice! We all need an Alice! With 6 kids, Mr. and Mrs. Brady and pets, Alice needed an Alice! It appeared that all Carol did was sew on a few buttons and help out in the kitchen.  With 3 kids in college we cannot justify hiring someone to clean house once a week - especially since it only stays clean for 15 minutes.  We'd rather do the job ourselves and save that money for dinner out or a weekend away.
Weekends are short.  So, our time off is precious to both of us. When it's time to clean, Matt and I divide and conquer. He's better at doing the floors than I am.  The nurse in me needs to hose down the kitchen and bathrooms killing any possible virus or bacteria that may be lurking around. We take turns cooking and cleaning up after meals.   If we divide and conquer, neither of us feels the work load is unfair and we get it done in half the time, thus leaving us with more play time.  When the kids were little we asked that they help out making them aware that with their help, the work gets done faster - ultimately getting them to the soccer field sooner. They grew up in a home that lacked sexist roles. Now that they are older, they do their own laundry, they are capable of cooking and keeping their own space clean.  Teens and clean - a bit of an anomaly, wouldn't you say?
Since Matt and I share the cooking responsibilities, it only makes sense that we grocery shop together.  We both have a say on what goes in the cart and ends up on our table.  We actually have fun shopping together. We enjoy each other's company, so for us, shopping is another opportunity to spend time together.  We spend too much time apart during the work week, so we choose to spend as much time together as possible on the weekends.  I am lucky enough to be married to my best friend. 
I imagine some may find our marriage nauseating, but it works for us.  Share and share alike - even when it applies to the drudgery of chores and errands that cannot be neglected.  Our marriage and home is happier when we work and play together - whether it's coping with a family crisis, sweeping up tumble weeds or cheering on our children at their games.  For better or for worse....I thank God we're in it together!

Let's Get Physical - A Tribute to Jane Fonda and the Fitness Craze of the 80's

"Let's get physical" - it was the mantra of the 80's. Jane Fonda is known for her oscar winning roles, political views, intelligence and beauty. She is also known as a pioneer of fitness back in the 80's.   She looked amazing in her leotard and leg warmers. Jane was in her 40's in the 80's.  That's right - a woman in her 40's started a fitness craze! As a now 50 year old woman, I find this both inspiring and amazing.  I've always admired Jane and women like her.  Intelligent, passionate, beautiful, strong and the picture of health - all qualities I have and still try to emulate.
Remember Olivia Newton-John's "Let's Get Physical" video?  Olivia sported the leotards and legwarmers while she did aerobics through it's entirety. It seemed like everyone was getting physical - taking aerobics classes and joining the gym. If there's one craze worth succumbing to - this was it. I turned 20 in 1980.  I was a slave to fashion and anything trendy in my 20's.  I still can't believe I permed my already curly hair - another fad I succumbed to.  Naturally, if sporting a leotard and joining a gym was the trendy thing to do then I was immediately on board.  I  joined a gym that was just for women.  I packed a bag in the mornings and went directly to the gym after work. I would meet up with friends and we'd sweat and laugh through aerobics class together.
While attempting to be a part of a fashionable trend, a healthy habit was born.  I continued to remain active and exercise throughout most of my adult life.  It helped shaped me - both literally and figuratively - into the strong, fit woman I am today. Outside of a few busy years in my 30's, I've tried to exercise regularly. I unfortunately learned in my 30's that  it was more difficult to balance work, school, motherhood and home without the extra energy working out gave me.
Crazes eventually go out of style. The fitness craze of the 80's turned into a good habit for me.  Working out is the best thing I do for me. Jane Fonda is now in her 70's and still looks amazing so I imagine it wasn't just a craze for her either.  Exercise looked great on her then and it looks great on her now.  I'm still admiring you Jane and I thank you for being an inspiration to me.

How Sweet It Is - Confessions of a Carboholic

Celebrate with me! The foundation of the food pyramid is carbs!  For me, that's the equivalent of a clothing pyramid having shoes at the bottom. As if I need to justify eating carbs or buying more shoes?!

As far back as I can remember, I have always loved carbs. I ate pasta. I ate it hot on my plate, cold in the strainer and uncooked - straight of the box (I emphatically do NOT recommend eating it uncooked as I broke a tooth eating uncooked ziti).
When I was a child, I used to take a slice of white bread, tear off the crust and eat it. Then I would roll and squish the rest into a neat little ball and eat that. I KNOW some of you have tried this! Matt has admitted that he did the same thing as a child.

I remember wanting to help out in the kitchen.  My mother let me peel the potatoes for dinner. I also remember enjoying eating a raw, peeled potato as a snack while I worked.  As far back as I can recall, I remember loving carbs, being active and  being thin.  I grew up Irish in an Italian neighborhood.  My mother was an excellent Irish AND Italian cook.  We ate as much pasta as we did potatoes in my home.  I believe my activity levels are what kept me thin and in shape.  I was always sent outside to play.  I rode my bike, played kick ball, shot hoops, swam and ice skated. I cannot recall one heavy child in my neighborhood. We didn't sit around watching TV or playing video games.  In order to fuel this active lifestyle, I ate a balanced diet - one that included lots of carbohydrates.

As a nurse, I understand the  importance of substituting whole grains for white grains. Brown rice, whole wheat pasta and whole grain breads are by far, a better choice nutritionally.  The are higher in fiber and nutrients and help stabilize blood sugar levels.  Sweet potatoes are a much better choice over white potatoes.  So when it comes to carbs, I choose sensibly.  I choose the ones that offer me the best nutritional value with the least amount of guilt.

So I ask myself why do people deprive themselves of the very foundation of the food pyramid in order to maintain or lose weight? Food deprivation often leads to diet failure.
Carbohydrates - breads and grains - are the foundation of the food pyramid.  They are an essential part of a balanced diet.  For this carboholic, knowing that it is recommended I have  6-11 servings of carbs per day,  is something worth celebrating. How sweet it  is!

You're a Hard Habit to Break - Rock Star Parking - One Space Away From a Handicap Space

Habits - they can be good or bad.  Habits are formed. They strengthen with recurrence and become a part of our routines.  I don't even think about it anymore. I get out of bed, go downstairs and head directly to the coffee pot. It's part of my daily routine and a ritual that offers me familiar comfort. However, I didn't always drink coffee.  My coffee habit began when I was 26 years old.  I worked for attorneys and there was always fresh coffee brewing.  The aroma drew me in and I eventually acquired a taste for it. The rest is history.
New habits can easily be formed while old habits are very difficult to break.  Coincidentally, forming a new "good" habit can automatically replace an old "not-so-good" habit.  Unfortunately, the reverse also applies.
""Yeah baby!" Exclaims my husband, as he scores a "rock star" parking space at the mall.  We just parked in the best space there is - the first space after the handicap spaces. Lucky us! Is this a habit or the norm for us? Do we typically drive around for 10 minutes searching for what I refer to it as: the ultimate spot?
I can only speak for myself. Unless I'm obligated to be somewhere in a big hurry, I try to park a little further away - saving the rock star space for someone who needs it more: the woman who is in her 9th month of pregnancy with  a 2 year-old, snuggly buckled into his car seat.  She really needs the spot more than I do. I know - I've been there.  At 5 feet 2 inches tall, when I was carrying my baby in the last trimester, I could barely move and hardly breath trying to holiday shop. That's as close to handicapped as I ever want to be.
Parking a little further away is an opportunity for me to walk a little more and burn a few extra calories. They really do add up and it's a habit I intend to stick with as long as my health and body cooperate with my mindset.
I love a good competition. I have worn a pedometer in the past.  I would try to walk more than I did the day before. Wearing it gave me an awareness of just how many steps I took per day. I found little ways to increase the number of steps each day by taking the stairs instead of the elevator, taking a walk at lunch or parking a little further away.
Always scoring a rock star parking space is a bad habit.  Not only does it take away spaces from  people who need them, it keeps you from getting in those extra steps.  Obesity, cardiovascular disease and diabetes all can be avoided and/or controlled by diet and exercise. So ask yourself, "Is it my goal to one day have that blue permit dangle from my rear view mirror?"
Start your holiday wish list now and put a pedometer and a new pair of walking shoes at the top of your list. Or, if the budget allows, treat yourself to them now and start a new good habit today. Somewhere out there a pregnant woman is grateful for the parking space closest to the mall. She is the true rock star!